“I’ve always had a problem with the saying, ‘I’m head over heels for you.’ I’m head over heels for you. My head…is over my heels…for you. You have impacted my life…in no way, shape or form.”—Tig Notaro
Tig Notaro:With some comedians, there can be a generic tone and delivery that develops in their stand-up and its really a problem, because obviously those comics can’t hear themselves. And believe it or not, there is now a generic Twitter delivery in tweets. It makes me cringe. Twitter is so over-saturated and NOT ALL, but many comics Twitter delivery starts to sound the same due to the limited number of characters allowed. I just don’t want to fall into that. And aside from that, I prefer to just send mass texts to everyone in my cell phone at odd hours of the day saying things like, ‘Dear guy sitting next to me on the bus, we get it, you haven’t showered in your entire adult life! Quit showing off and start showering off!’ or ‘I just had lunch with my celebrity friend and we are now going to yoga!’ or ‘I’m with all of my favorite people! Having the time of my life’” or “At the grocery store. should I buy 1-ply or 2-ply toilet paper? Any suggestions? And why?
“I always thought it would be really cool to get a hotel room, go to the hotel, get in bed, order a movie on tv, order room service, eat, watch the movie—head out. Don’t even spend the night. Spend the afternoon in the hotel room. I think it would be awkwardly/funny, great fun. You’re having dinner and a movie with somebody.”—Tig Notaro (on the perfect first date)